matthewc
Registered User
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2012
- Messages
- 72
Hey folks, so for those of you that don't know me, I'm a Natural Selection 2 player, still a recruit. I've been around a couple months. I happen to work in the film industry and also make my own projects, you can read a bit more and watch some videos here about it here: (http://www.tbgclan.com/f23/howdy-matthewc-here-proud-canadian-20055/). I am a director who's trying to work his way up with the incredible support of some of Vancouver's best film professionals. This is where most of my money get's spent, each and every new project.
Anyways, I've done a couple short films now while I've been working on a few concepts and treatments for a feature film, this is one I came up with recently after my stunt co-ordinator begged me to create something with some driving stunts in it. I have two very specific tricky shots set up around some of these driving stunts as well.
Mind you, I only came up with this days ago, the concept is developing and there are story issues and things that need to be added, but I'm always down for feedback and expertise from folks such as you in terms of concept. I've copy and pasted my current treatment in here. You will see places where I need to write stuff in, etc. Remember, the dialogue is only temporary, it's hella cheesy right now. When I start developing the script, you will see this stuff get seriously expanded.
SYNOPSIS: An Iraq war Veteran with mental issues is forced to ignite a gang war for a group of men holding his wife hostage at his house.
SHORT VERSION:
IRAQ: An American soldier aims his rifle amidst the dust. Behind him a team steps into line. He sweeps his gun. ?CLEAR!?. He kicks open a door into another room.
Inside two men with turbans spin aiming rifles their way, screaming in Arabic. Our marine fires, PAP, PAP. Two perfect chest shots, they drop. He continues to move, his eyes searching for his next target. KICK through another door.
The dust settles and we see a frightened child holding a grenade in his hand, one finger in the pin. Our marine puts a hand out, pleading. The child starts to pull the pin-PAP. Smoke rises from the barrel of the solider as he looks at the child on the floor. A twinge of remorse, then determination as he moves to the next room. We see him step in as the team follows, more gunshots.
PRESENT DAY, COUNTRY-SIDE MID-AMERICA: ?Honey?? Birds-eye on a bedroom as Patrick slowly wakes up. Scars run the length of his right arm, war wounds. Beside him lies Allie, his wife.
She puts her head on his chest. ?Nightmares? You were twitching again.?
He smiles a bit, the memories not unpleasant on his mind. ?No, just another dream.?
?Are you going to tell me what you saw this time?? she says. ?No, no I can?t, you won?t get it.? as he rolls over. ?You can trust me hon.? He sits on the edge of the bed, her hand gently on his back.
Inside his garage he works on his vehicle, a pristine, shiny, ?69 Mustang. He almost loves it more than his wife the way he takes care of it and pays attention to every detail. His old army pal Matt stands beside him, giving him a hard time about loving his car more than his woman. Their banter turns serious as Matt tells him ?Look bro, you gotta find a job somewhere. The army doesn?t give a shit about you, and neither does American anymore. They?ve got their own problems.? Patrick is not ready, he tells Matt that he misses it.
?The adrenaline?? Matt questions?
?No. The killing.? Matt eyes him cautiously, this is a bit odd. ?Yeah, maybe you?re not quite ready yet. They plan to meet up later for a beer.
The next morning, Patrick heads out in his car, a smile on his face as the morning sun radiates. His car bounces and rolls smoothly through the dusty road as he heads to town.
Back at his house, his wife is kneading bread as we slowly dolly in on her. The doorbell rings, she turns. Who could it be? She turns the door handle, slowly opens the door. She drops the bowl shes holding.
Patrick?s cell phone rings as he walks back to his car, arms full of groceries from a supermarket. He unlocks the trunk and puts the phone up to his ear. He answers it then slams the trunk shut.
?Hello??
?Patrick??
?Yes, who?s this??
?You can call me Damien, Mr. Evans. But that doesn?t matter. What does is your wife is my prisoner and I won?t hesitate to kill her if you don?t do exactly what I say. We know your skills, we know what you do, and your going to help us if you ever want to see your wife again. If you call the police, she will die. Now I, am a man of my word. If you follow my instructions, I can promise your life and hers.?
?You sick FUCKS!?
?You have 1 hour Mr. Evans. Then your wife is dead, and we will find you and kill you as well.?
Patrick tries to argue but realizes he has no choice. He contemplates calling the cops, but can?t afford to put her at risk.
He reluctantly gives in to their demands, having no choice. His first order of business is to kill a a ganghouse full of Crips hanging out in a the rough part of town.
With no money and no support, he is forced to find the house and break in. Yelling over the phone and demanding to talk to his wife, Damien tells him to call when the deed is done.
Pulling up to the suburban house he realizes he has nothing on him, so he goes into the trunk and opens the grocery bag, pulling out a new set of paring knifes. He cracks the package and pulls one out, tucking it into his belt.
He sneaks around the outside of the building, then finds a loose window and opens it. With ninja-like stealth he wanders through, knifing one individual after another, muffling their screams with his hands, gently letting the bodies hit the floor. This is where he shines. When the deed is done, he salvages an MP5 SMG and an AK-47.
He steps back out to his car and opens his phone to call his wife?s captors. He is interrupted by an unmarked police car roaming the neighborhood. Patrick tries to avoid eye contact and look busy beside his car, but the officer slows noticing the blood on Patrick?s shirt. The car slowly stops. Patrick starts his engine, and reverses into the cruiser as his sirens come on. He peels out onto the lawn, kicking up mud and dirt everywhere, smearing his license plate with mud and covering the windshield of the police cruiser, who is now in hot pursuit.
They peel down the road, end to end, fighting for position. The road turns dead ahead, except for an old gate that leads into a farmers field. They crash through it.
Fields of wheat fly by as both cars spit dust up. The cop repeatedly tries to take out his rear end but Pat doesn?t let it happen. The field seems to drop directly ahead, so Pat slows and kicks himself and the officer sideways as they crest the lip of the field.
Pat manages to correct just in time to come off on an angle, the unmarked cruiser hits the lip almost completely sideways, landing on it?s driver side door and tumbling to finally rest in a muddy pasture. The officer climbs out, bleeding from the forehead, radio in head requesting back. The hunt is on.
Back with Patrick, he phones the captors once again. He informs them he had police on his tail, but he lost them. If they will trust him, he will get there with the money and they can all go their seperate ways. They refuse to let him talk to his wife, but they promise after his final task he can. His next step is to bust into a money laundering operation in a crackhouse and steal over a million in cash. He punches the address into his GPS and rips out of there.
On the way, he gives a phone call to Matt. He asks, ?Matt, do you trust me??
Matt wants to know where he?s going with this, he knows Patrick?s demons. ?I don?t know Pat, your not acting normal these days.? ?I need you to trust me. My life and Allie?s depend on it.?
Matt starts to question but Pat shuts him down. ?Remember where we used to shoot our .22s in the backyard under the oak tree? I need you to make your way there without being spotted, and setup facing the house. There are tangos everywhere, and I will be coming home.?
Matt agrees, wondering what he?s gotten himself into.
Patrick pulls up in front of a decrepit house where a black man stands in front, curiously looking at him as he approaches. SHICK - a knife flies from Patrick?s hands, lodging itself in the throat of the individual who drops dead.
The front doors looms in front of him, he kicks it open.
SLO-MO, as individuals in drugged stupors stand up bearing arms. Muzzle flashes ignite the fire in his eyes as he quickly and sty dispatches the men in front of him. He steps into a back room to find the money sitting there.
A duffel bag later he heads back to his car, fully armed and loaded. He gets in his car and races towards home. Matt rings him. ?I can?t see inside, all the blinds are shut. You have 3 armed men in the backyard of the house, and it looks like a couple men around the East side of the building. They have your place locked down pretty tight.?
?I?m coming home Matt, I?ve got the money, get ready to take them down.?
A loud engine behind him causes him to hang up, as a motorbike with an Uzi races up behind him, spattering bullets his direction, shattering his car?s windows. He pats the car lovingly.
A chase ensues until finally he slams on his brakes and the motorbike crashes into his rear, sending the pursuer through the rear window and into this front seat. PAP! PAP! The motorcyclists face explodes all over the front seat.
Back at home his wife huddles in a corner. She gingerly touches the bruises on her face, one eye closed shut from the abuse of the men. The clock ticks down, 5 minutes left.
He rings the captors again. ?Mission complete, I?m on my way.? ?You have two minutes to get here, or she?s dead. Don?t fuck up.?
Inside his car he punches his dash and furiously screams his frustration that he can?t drive fast enough, his car bouncing over the dusty offroads.
He rings backs. ?Let me talk to her, I need to know she?s alive or I?m turning around right now?. They put her on the line.
?Honey, I know things have been weird, but you have to trust me now. I need you to listen to me. When I say so, you need to get on the floor.? Her frantic screams almost drown him out but he calms her. ?Now!? he says, and she dives to the floor.
Outside his house we see him coming flying up the street, no brakes as he hits his front yard and flys off the slope of his lawn, crashing through the house and into the assailants standing over his wife, his car barely clearing the battered frame of his wife in the fetal position on the floor.
He crashes into the rear wall of the house, sending the two men through the wall and into the backyard. The 3 armed thugs turn just in time to see the bodies come flying through the wall. The impact of his crash has stunned Patrick, but he manages to wiggle out of the vehicle and help his wife to her feet. They embrace, then he puts her in the backseat of the car and closes the door. Footsteps run towards him through the house.
- DISPATCHES A COUPLE GUYS, FINDS A YOUNG TEEN WITH A WEAPON, FLASHBACK TO IRAQ AND THE BOY HE KILLED. He talks the boy down, let?s him live.
- COMES FACE TO FACE TO DAMIEN. They start a conversation, Damien apologizes for his men?s lack of tact on his wife?s face, he did not approve. Damien tells him they are both alike, they are men of honor, warriors bred for something else. A fight ensues, instead of an epic battle Pat takes him down surprisingly easy, emphasing his killing prowess.
Outside, one of the backyard thugs starts running towards the house.THACK! He drops from a perfect shot by Matt.
ENDING TO BE CONTINUED BELOW, THINGS TO WRITE
- Him and Matt successfully taking down the captors at his house together, working as a team like back in Iraq
- Must write in his coming to terms with killing, it?s not the killing, its ridding the world of evil that he likes
- His wife growing closer to him as he opens up about his problems
Anyways, I've done a couple short films now while I've been working on a few concepts and treatments for a feature film, this is one I came up with recently after my stunt co-ordinator begged me to create something with some driving stunts in it. I have two very specific tricky shots set up around some of these driving stunts as well.
Mind you, I only came up with this days ago, the concept is developing and there are story issues and things that need to be added, but I'm always down for feedback and expertise from folks such as you in terms of concept. I've copy and pasted my current treatment in here. You will see places where I need to write stuff in, etc. Remember, the dialogue is only temporary, it's hella cheesy right now. When I start developing the script, you will see this stuff get seriously expanded.
SYNOPSIS: An Iraq war Veteran with mental issues is forced to ignite a gang war for a group of men holding his wife hostage at his house.
SHORT VERSION:
IRAQ: An American soldier aims his rifle amidst the dust. Behind him a team steps into line. He sweeps his gun. ?CLEAR!?. He kicks open a door into another room.
Inside two men with turbans spin aiming rifles their way, screaming in Arabic. Our marine fires, PAP, PAP. Two perfect chest shots, they drop. He continues to move, his eyes searching for his next target. KICK through another door.
The dust settles and we see a frightened child holding a grenade in his hand, one finger in the pin. Our marine puts a hand out, pleading. The child starts to pull the pin-PAP. Smoke rises from the barrel of the solider as he looks at the child on the floor. A twinge of remorse, then determination as he moves to the next room. We see him step in as the team follows, more gunshots.
PRESENT DAY, COUNTRY-SIDE MID-AMERICA: ?Honey?? Birds-eye on a bedroom as Patrick slowly wakes up. Scars run the length of his right arm, war wounds. Beside him lies Allie, his wife.
She puts her head on his chest. ?Nightmares? You were twitching again.?
He smiles a bit, the memories not unpleasant on his mind. ?No, just another dream.?
?Are you going to tell me what you saw this time?? she says. ?No, no I can?t, you won?t get it.? as he rolls over. ?You can trust me hon.? He sits on the edge of the bed, her hand gently on his back.
Inside his garage he works on his vehicle, a pristine, shiny, ?69 Mustang. He almost loves it more than his wife the way he takes care of it and pays attention to every detail. His old army pal Matt stands beside him, giving him a hard time about loving his car more than his woman. Their banter turns serious as Matt tells him ?Look bro, you gotta find a job somewhere. The army doesn?t give a shit about you, and neither does American anymore. They?ve got their own problems.? Patrick is not ready, he tells Matt that he misses it.
?The adrenaline?? Matt questions?
?No. The killing.? Matt eyes him cautiously, this is a bit odd. ?Yeah, maybe you?re not quite ready yet. They plan to meet up later for a beer.
The next morning, Patrick heads out in his car, a smile on his face as the morning sun radiates. His car bounces and rolls smoothly through the dusty road as he heads to town.
Back at his house, his wife is kneading bread as we slowly dolly in on her. The doorbell rings, she turns. Who could it be? She turns the door handle, slowly opens the door. She drops the bowl shes holding.
Patrick?s cell phone rings as he walks back to his car, arms full of groceries from a supermarket. He unlocks the trunk and puts the phone up to his ear. He answers it then slams the trunk shut.
?Hello??
?Patrick??
?Yes, who?s this??
?You can call me Damien, Mr. Evans. But that doesn?t matter. What does is your wife is my prisoner and I won?t hesitate to kill her if you don?t do exactly what I say. We know your skills, we know what you do, and your going to help us if you ever want to see your wife again. If you call the police, she will die. Now I, am a man of my word. If you follow my instructions, I can promise your life and hers.?
?You sick FUCKS!?
?You have 1 hour Mr. Evans. Then your wife is dead, and we will find you and kill you as well.?
Patrick tries to argue but realizes he has no choice. He contemplates calling the cops, but can?t afford to put her at risk.
He reluctantly gives in to their demands, having no choice. His first order of business is to kill a a ganghouse full of Crips hanging out in a the rough part of town.
With no money and no support, he is forced to find the house and break in. Yelling over the phone and demanding to talk to his wife, Damien tells him to call when the deed is done.
Pulling up to the suburban house he realizes he has nothing on him, so he goes into the trunk and opens the grocery bag, pulling out a new set of paring knifes. He cracks the package and pulls one out, tucking it into his belt.
He sneaks around the outside of the building, then finds a loose window and opens it. With ninja-like stealth he wanders through, knifing one individual after another, muffling their screams with his hands, gently letting the bodies hit the floor. This is where he shines. When the deed is done, he salvages an MP5 SMG and an AK-47.
He steps back out to his car and opens his phone to call his wife?s captors. He is interrupted by an unmarked police car roaming the neighborhood. Patrick tries to avoid eye contact and look busy beside his car, but the officer slows noticing the blood on Patrick?s shirt. The car slowly stops. Patrick starts his engine, and reverses into the cruiser as his sirens come on. He peels out onto the lawn, kicking up mud and dirt everywhere, smearing his license plate with mud and covering the windshield of the police cruiser, who is now in hot pursuit.
They peel down the road, end to end, fighting for position. The road turns dead ahead, except for an old gate that leads into a farmers field. They crash through it.
Fields of wheat fly by as both cars spit dust up. The cop repeatedly tries to take out his rear end but Pat doesn?t let it happen. The field seems to drop directly ahead, so Pat slows and kicks himself and the officer sideways as they crest the lip of the field.
Pat manages to correct just in time to come off on an angle, the unmarked cruiser hits the lip almost completely sideways, landing on it?s driver side door and tumbling to finally rest in a muddy pasture. The officer climbs out, bleeding from the forehead, radio in head requesting back. The hunt is on.
Back with Patrick, he phones the captors once again. He informs them he had police on his tail, but he lost them. If they will trust him, he will get there with the money and they can all go their seperate ways. They refuse to let him talk to his wife, but they promise after his final task he can. His next step is to bust into a money laundering operation in a crackhouse and steal over a million in cash. He punches the address into his GPS and rips out of there.
On the way, he gives a phone call to Matt. He asks, ?Matt, do you trust me??
Matt wants to know where he?s going with this, he knows Patrick?s demons. ?I don?t know Pat, your not acting normal these days.? ?I need you to trust me. My life and Allie?s depend on it.?
Matt starts to question but Pat shuts him down. ?Remember where we used to shoot our .22s in the backyard under the oak tree? I need you to make your way there without being spotted, and setup facing the house. There are tangos everywhere, and I will be coming home.?
Matt agrees, wondering what he?s gotten himself into.
Patrick pulls up in front of a decrepit house where a black man stands in front, curiously looking at him as he approaches. SHICK - a knife flies from Patrick?s hands, lodging itself in the throat of the individual who drops dead.
The front doors looms in front of him, he kicks it open.
SLO-MO, as individuals in drugged stupors stand up bearing arms. Muzzle flashes ignite the fire in his eyes as he quickly and sty dispatches the men in front of him. He steps into a back room to find the money sitting there.
A duffel bag later he heads back to his car, fully armed and loaded. He gets in his car and races towards home. Matt rings him. ?I can?t see inside, all the blinds are shut. You have 3 armed men in the backyard of the house, and it looks like a couple men around the East side of the building. They have your place locked down pretty tight.?
?I?m coming home Matt, I?ve got the money, get ready to take them down.?
A loud engine behind him causes him to hang up, as a motorbike with an Uzi races up behind him, spattering bullets his direction, shattering his car?s windows. He pats the car lovingly.
A chase ensues until finally he slams on his brakes and the motorbike crashes into his rear, sending the pursuer through the rear window and into this front seat. PAP! PAP! The motorcyclists face explodes all over the front seat.
Back at home his wife huddles in a corner. She gingerly touches the bruises on her face, one eye closed shut from the abuse of the men. The clock ticks down, 5 minutes left.
He rings the captors again. ?Mission complete, I?m on my way.? ?You have two minutes to get here, or she?s dead. Don?t fuck up.?
Inside his car he punches his dash and furiously screams his frustration that he can?t drive fast enough, his car bouncing over the dusty offroads.
He rings backs. ?Let me talk to her, I need to know she?s alive or I?m turning around right now?. They put her on the line.
?Honey, I know things have been weird, but you have to trust me now. I need you to listen to me. When I say so, you need to get on the floor.? Her frantic screams almost drown him out but he calms her. ?Now!? he says, and she dives to the floor.
Outside his house we see him coming flying up the street, no brakes as he hits his front yard and flys off the slope of his lawn, crashing through the house and into the assailants standing over his wife, his car barely clearing the battered frame of his wife in the fetal position on the floor.
He crashes into the rear wall of the house, sending the two men through the wall and into the backyard. The 3 armed thugs turn just in time to see the bodies come flying through the wall. The impact of his crash has stunned Patrick, but he manages to wiggle out of the vehicle and help his wife to her feet. They embrace, then he puts her in the backseat of the car and closes the door. Footsteps run towards him through the house.
- DISPATCHES A COUPLE GUYS, FINDS A YOUNG TEEN WITH A WEAPON, FLASHBACK TO IRAQ AND THE BOY HE KILLED. He talks the boy down, let?s him live.
- COMES FACE TO FACE TO DAMIEN. They start a conversation, Damien apologizes for his men?s lack of tact on his wife?s face, he did not approve. Damien tells him they are both alike, they are men of honor, warriors bred for something else. A fight ensues, instead of an epic battle Pat takes him down surprisingly easy, emphasing his killing prowess.
Outside, one of the backyard thugs starts running towards the house.THACK! He drops from a perfect shot by Matt.
ENDING TO BE CONTINUED BELOW, THINGS TO WRITE
- Him and Matt successfully taking down the captors at his house together, working as a team like back in Iraq
- Must write in his coming to terms with killing, it?s not the killing, its ridding the world of evil that he likes
- His wife growing closer to him as he opens up about his problems
