Relationships and gaming

Chocolate_Ch3rry

Chocolate_Ch3rry

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What's up everyone. So, I'm in a pretty serious relationship now, not like my past ones that lasted a few months and had no real future to them. Also the only people that knew of my gaming was my brother and mother. We have openly talked marriage and we will be moving in together when my lease is up in about 4 months. She knows I used to game heavy and that I don't currently because I'm working 2 OT days a week,but that I plan on doing some when I drop the OT. Mainly when she works etc. I know a lot of you are married and I was curious how does it work out for you? Balancing a relationship and gaming? I've always lived on my own since i was 19 and as stated earlier, never shared that I was a gamer to anyone. So I was a little nervous to share that with her,but knew I had to. She didn't care and was more shocked because I didn't come across as a "gamer type" to her.
 
well for starters i dont hide shit. upfront they know that im a gamer, i drink and smoke to much and have 3 unruly dogs. no sense in hiding who you are. i even got the g/f @Miss Brandy to start playing overwatch with me and she loves it. and when we make our move we will have a dedicated gaming room just so we can play (and hopefully the one room i will be allowed to smoke in with a fan in the window obviously). i dont come off as a gamer or a redneck when it comes to how i look. well the WASD tattooed on my left hand does if you know what it means. but you never know she might see a game you play and like it. if you cant be you around the one you are with whats the point?
 
I told my wife(GF then) when we first met, that I love video games. When we moved in together, I reminder her I love video games. Even after we put it on paper, I told her I love to play video games. Every once in a while, she gets mad that I play often, but I ask her if she remembers what I said to her when we first met.

I explained my relationship with video games from the start, and how they have been apart of my life before she even knew I existed. How they help me cope, and stay out of trouble(I am not out drinking and driving, fraternizing with other women, or blowing my money on drugs and hookers).

I guess it varies from woman to woman, but if you make a connection and communicate(and don't neglect spending time with her), it should be all good. If she doesn't want to be with you because you enjoy playing video games, it;s probably for the betterment of both your lives......unless she has you whipped with that fire.
 
The key for me, is always putting family first. My wife knows that I do that. She knows that she can bother me at any time when I am playing and I will hop off. This might sound annoying/extreme but because I make sure that family is taken care of first, she almost never asks for me to do so. Now, having a baby is a totally different story....
 
I have found that rare type (where I live it's a bit rare) of wife who is just as much a gamer as I am. The only difference: she is more rpg and console and of course I'm part of the Master PC Gaming race. She knew I was and still am a gamer and to that we both are comfortable. As @DocHolliday stated, when we need to, we both put away the games and make sure family and us comes first on our lists.
 
Yep, I was upfront with her. I've always put my friends/family and other relationships ahead of gaming. It's never interfered with anything. I'm sure it will be fine. It just seems time will tell if it works out or if she has some sort of issue. I made it clear that she comes first over gaming, but I will want my time to play. I plan on figuring out when that will be and go over that with her, so we are on the same page. She's a nurse and works 12 hour days and my normal schedule is 4-10 hour days,so I should have more time then I'll need to get some gaming in.
 
keep in mind people who dont play games often will equate you playing games as you doing "nothing". If she knows you game and cares about you she should not only respect your time gaming but also have an interest in your interest. She does not need to "turn into" a gamer but if you guys could find something together that she would like it could help her (if she has any issues) to be more understanding of gaming. Just balance time together doing activities and time doing activities separate. Women have a tendency to want to take over all of your time and that's never healthy. Not saying she will but, you know lol. My husband and I both game, mostly different games but our computers are within the vicinity of each other so he has to hear my penis jokes no matter what. We usually share a meal together before parting off to our computers then watch tv together after we have gamed on weeknights. Like anything in a relationship it should be equal and nobody should feel burdened or like they are doing all the compromising. hope this helps!
 
Snakebabies said:
spoken like a champ
Click to expand...
well with 2 exceptions all my friends are male and I have seen this time and time again. The week ones fold for fear of loosing access to a vagina, then 1-4 years later once they are a broken husk they are kicked to the curb. Its horrible to watch the effects of "women are princesses" play out and a good guy get his life wrecked. always remember there are plenty of fish.....ummm clams in the sea!
 
I wish you nothing but good luck and happiness bro. Unfortunately, I have no advice as I've not found someone who shares the same interests.
 
My wife is a nurse also and does the whole 3 days a week thing and we have 4 kids with one on the way. My advise is to have at least one weekly date night and try to do your gaming as much as you can while she is working or sleeping lol. I do play when she is awake or here but if she wants to go do something or watch a movie together then I do that with her. If nothing else is going on and she wants to do one of her things then I go game. It's all about the compromises my friend.


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