SSDs could soon be 300% faster thanks to a simple new trick

I need a job writing tech articles....I mean copy and pasting shit from the web, emails and social media and then putting a disclaimer at the bottom stating I don't really know anything. All of em are exactly the same.

"We don't know when,"

I really don't know anything so I better say "WE". I just caught this on Twitter from some guy I knew before I dropped out of collage. He knows a guy, who's cousin sells weed to a guy that cleans at this place. Plus it makes it look like my blog is a real company and not just some web pages. Does my mom count as an employee if she brings me "MY FUCKING MOUNTAIN DEW OR CHOCOLATE MILK" (which one did I ask for?)

"or even if"

This might be all wrong but I have to give my editor something. I've been on a bejeweled rampage all week and haven't gotten shit done at work. Hopefully I can get this to him on a holiday weekend, actually the first holiday weekend of the summer. I haven't done shit all spring I guess. I have no life and no plans for kicking off my summer with some beer and girls. Nobody else is working this weekend so maybe he'll think I'm the hardest working mother fucker in here. No way this news could wait until Tuesday.

"this new technology"

I think my boss told me I should use "when and if" before the words "NEW TECHNOLOGY". My blogspot would look real dumb if companies can't make money doing something cheap, easy and wanted.

"will make it to SSDs in the near future"

Hopefully Samsung can sell all of those slow, bum-me-out SSD's, so I can get a new lightning fast SSD that gets me chicks.

"but if it does, it should see itself baked into SSDs"

I better say "if" again. I can never use that word enough. If I had some pussy I wouldn't be writing this on Memorial weekend.

"over the next couple of years."

Dammit....they are never gonna sell all those stupid, real slow SSD's. I'm gonna be like 23 before I can get one of these.
 
I just had to post again after reading the stupid fucking title of the article. That is the whole reason the disclaimer is needed at the end of the article. LMFAO
Title-
SSDs could soon be 300% faster thanks to a simple new trick
Last sentence of the article-
We don't know when, or even if this new technology will make it to SSDs in the near future - but if it does, it should see itself baked into SSDs over the next couple of years.

Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaa...............how do I get this guys job?
 
That's the nature of the industry dude...

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