The Onion-Our Dumb World snipets

[sixer9682]

Afghanistan- "Allah's Cat Box"

"Since ancient times, Afghanistan has been a cultural crossroads for many different peoples and their traditional killing techniques...Many citizens are employed as poppy farmers , as Afghanistan is the world's leading producer of heroin and and opium. However, without paved streets or even elementary schools the nation lacks even the most basic infrastructure to push the product.

Because of this, most families are forced to live uncomfortably in small to medium sized piles of rubble. Wealthier families can afford to buy burnt out husks of former homes. Years of adapting to this environment have toughened the people to the point where it now takes two head shots to put them down."


Iraq "They had it coming"

"In 2003 The United States invaded Iraq in retaliation for countless atrocities committed by the nation including the gassing of Kurdish villages, the 1990 invasion of Kuwait, the events of 9/11, the sinking of the Titanic, the Hindenburg explosion, and the Holocaust."

 

[balls2dawall]

wow! I didn't know that about Iraq

 

[Sgt.SID]

They did all that. Your right they did have it comming

 

[sixer9682]

Lulz

 

[sixer9682]

Germany-"Genocide Free since April 11, 1946".

"Though Germany is now an upstanding member of the international community, boasting one of the strongest economies in the world, it wasn't too long ago that the nation struggled with a harrowing Jew-Killing addiction"

Serbia & Montenegro

"So We've done a little ethnic cleansing"

"A landlocked country with a genocidal temper, Serbia wasted too many years putting up with a bunch of nagging Yugoslav republics only to have them all take off at the first sign of ethnic cleansing."

"After a long day of supporting the economies of the other five republics, Serbia couldn't even blow off steam by slaughtering a village of Albanians without getting Slovenia or Croatia on its case. When they weren't bitching about the rape camps, these so-called allies were running their mouths of to the UN about how Serbia didn't respect them as independent nations-just to be a pain in Serbia's ass."

BTW see Albania "The Haiti of Europe" for references.

 

[sixer9682]

South Africa " A Bad Neighborhood"

"The citizens of South Africa fall victim to violent crime every 17 seconds-a statistic that is impossible to verify as everyone in the country has his or her watch stolen every 12 seconds"

"2002 A study finds that in 98% of South African rapes, the assailant is more often than not someone the victim knew from past rapes."

 

[RainMotorsports]

Oh god... Sixer I think you failed, and anyone who believed anything in here. I remember you telling me about Zimbabwe but if this is the book that info came from it was a joke lol.

Anyways The Onion is very funny parody of the news and the have a book or two out.

Now it actually seems like you know its a joke, but putting the Zimbabwe fact with this makes it seem otherwise, So I am a mix of confusion atm. The titanic bs is of course obvious lol.

 

[sixer9682]

Rain, of course it's a joke; that's what's so funny. It's some funny shit...bitching about rape camps just to the UN be a pain in Serbia's ass! lulz

 

[RainMotorsports]

Rain, of course it's a joke; that's what's so funny. It's some funny shit...bitching about rape camps just to the UN be a pain in Serbia's ass! lulz

Glad to hear it lol I was about to say....uh for a minute lol. I might have to get this one for a read. I have the book with all their front pages from when they started to like 2008 or whatever.